After a divorce many women feel an urge to get back together with their ex-husband. This is a very normal emotion, and if you feel the same after your divorce, you must first try and understand why you are feeling this way. Do you really love him? Are you ready to make compromises or at least cooperate? Or is this just because of low self-esteem and loneliness? If it is the latter, then you should not attempt to get back together till you get a more clear idea of your own feelings. But if you really love your ex-husband and want him back in your life, well, then treat it as a project that has to be dealt with oodles of patience and self-control.
If you have been missing your husband like hell then you are likely to reach out for the phone and give him a call and tell him how much you need him and how lonely you have been. Well, before you make that very tempting call, just pause and think what this behavior would tell him about you. You will come across as this clingy wife, who not only can’t take care of herself but also is also nagging and whiny. This is surely not the impression you would want your ex-husband to have, if you want him back.
It is definitely better to severe all ties for some days, so that you both get time to think about yourselves and each other. The advantage of ending a marriage on an amicable note is that you can maintain cordial relations after that. If you are in such a position, then you can make an occasional phone call and communicate. Communication will play a big role in getting him back.
You not only communicate by talking things out and clearing any misunderstandings that exist, you can also communicate a lot through what is left unsaid. For instance if you sound confident, sensitive and non-pushy, then you communicate that you are not a nagging, hyper sensitive woman desperate to get her husband back. But as far as possible try not to use any accusing tone while speaking about the past. Remember your focus should be healing the wounds and not causing further damage.
A big issue in marriages is “listening”, most of the times partners complain that their partners do not listen or try to understand the other person’s point of view. If you want to get your husband back, make sure you do a lot of listening. You have faced a lot of troubles and pain, but so had he. You cannot expect him to pay heed to your emotions if you do not do the same. So lend a patient ear and hear him out even if you have a different view. All this will go a long way in re-building the trust and faith in each other and making a new beginning.